Relationships — worst jokes

Why did the girl Gorilla, engaged to the invisible man, call off the wedding?
→ Because in the last analysis she just couldn't see it!

This girl wanted to marry a ghost. I can't think what possessed her.

- First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes, her skin had the glow of a peach, her cheeks were like apples and her lips like cherries - that's my girl.

- Second boy: Sounds like a fruit salad to me.

- Say something soft and sweet to me.

- Dracula: Marshmallows, chocolate fudge cake...

In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a 32-year-old man and his 24-year-old girlfriend were arrested after a food fight in a grocery store. After arguing loudly, the couple began throwing sweet potatoes at each other. Eventually, the man allegedly threw the woman into several vegetable racks, sending the contents spilling to the floor. As both continued to brawl on the floor, she allegedly stuffed lettuce into the man's mouth.

What do romantic fish sing to each other?
→ Salmon-chanted evening!

What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?
→ 'Your plaice or mine'!

I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago. She said "it's me or your fishing."

Gee I miss her.

Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.

A farmer and his girlfriend were out for a stroll in the fields when they came across a cow and a calf rubbing noses.

"Boy," said the farmer, "that sure makes me want to do the same."

"Well, go ahead," said his girlfriend. "It's your cow."