Random joke from this category
It seems that Ken Starr is dropping all sexual allegations against President Clinton. It all stems from the Paula Jones case. The spokesperson remarked that it would be impossible for a woman with a six inch nose to give a blow job to a person with a three inch dick.
Nancy Reagan is the celebrity contestant on Password. It's her turn to guess the word.
- Voice Over: And the password is... black dick!
- Nancy: Um... is it a place?
- Her partner: No.
- Nancy: Is it a person?
- Her partner: No.
- Nancy: Hmm, then it must be a thing. Um, is it something I might want to eat?
- Her partner, exasperated: Well, I dunno, maybe.
- Nancy: Is it black dick?
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic??
→ It is known how many went down on the Titanic.
What's the difference between a transvestite sailor and Monica Lewinsky's wardrobe?
→ When you have a transvestite sailor, you have a dress on a seaman.
In a deal engineered by veteran mouthpieces Stein and Cacheris, Ms. Lewinsky has apparently headed off possible perjury charges by offering a full throated confession to Kenneth Starr. Sources close to the investigation report Starr is pumping Ms. Lewinsky for details concerning an oral pact with Mr. Clinton to withhold evidence. Although the independent prosecutor's team will drill Monica prior to her testimony, beltway observers do not anticipate a full dress rehearsal.
Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight.
After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders.
The President asked for a whisky & soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink.
The minister replied in disgust, "Ma'am, I'd rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips!"
The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a choice..."
At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II.
They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white horses.
As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their side and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, all was going well. This was indeed a glorious display of pageantry and dignity.
Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse let rip the most horrendous, earth-shattering, eye-smarting blast of flatulence, and the coach immediately filled with noxious fumes.
Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries did their best to ignore the whole incident, but then the Queen decided that was a ridiculous manner with which to handle a most embarrassing situation.
She turned to Mr. Bush and explained, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some things even a Queen cannot control."
George W., ever the Texas gentleman, replied, "Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought. You know, if you hadn't said something I would have assumed it was one of the horses."
A minister was asked by a politician, "Name something the government can do to help the church."
The minister replied, "Quit making one dollar bills."
If the NSA made toasters...
Your toaster would have a secret trap door that only the NSA could access in case they needed to get at your toast for reasons of national security.
What is It?
Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one. Maddona does not have one. And a priest does not use his. What is it?
→ A Last name
