Political Jokes — worst jokes

What's the difference between Monica Lewinsky and the rest of us?
→ In order for us to get some dick in the White House, we had to go out and vote.

How will history remember Bill Clinton?
→ The President after Bush.

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and his dog Buddy?
→ One tries to hump the leg of every woman in the White House, the other is a chocolate Lab.

What does Clinton say to interns as they leave his office?
→ "Don't hit your head on the desk."

Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores on President's day?
→ All pants half off.

What do Monica Lewinsky and the Buffalo Bills have in common?
→ They both blew the big one several times.

What was the first thing Monica saw in government?
→ The Executive Branch.

What do Monica Lewinsky and soda pop machines have in common?
→ They both have slots which say "Insert Bill" here.

What's the difference between Bill Clinton & J.F.K?
→ One got his head blown off in the back of a limousine & the other got assasinated.

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?
→ A DICTATOR!!

Sources close to President Clinton say he is proposing a new national anthem for the United States, "Yank my Dandy Doodle!"

- Person: Are you a democrat or a republican?

- Blonde: Oh, I'm an American.

At least now, Mr. Clinton, we understand why mattresses are discounted every Presidents Day.

Chelsea Clinton was home for Christmas break. She was having lunch with her dear mother, Hillary, just talking about typical girl stuff. Hillary says to Chelsea, "My, my what a fine young lady you have turned out to be. Being a sophomore at Stanford and all, I'm so proud!"

Hillary proceeds to give Chelsea a hug then speaks softly and asks her a question. "Say, I was just wondering since you're all grown up now. Have you, um, had sex yet?".

Chelsea ponders and contemplates then responds.

"Um, not according to dad."!

President Yeltsin, President Clinton and Bill Gates are invited to have dinner with God. During dinner He tells them: "I needed three important people to send my message out to all the people: Tomorrow I will destroy the Earth."

Yeltsin immediately calls together his cabinet and announces: "I have two really bad news items. God really exists, and tomorrow he will destroy the earth."

Clinton calls an emergency meeting of congress and announces: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is God really does exist; the bad news is tomorrow he's destroying the Earth."

Gates goes back to Microsoft and tells his employees: "I have two pieces of great news. First, I am one of the three most important people on earth, and second, I think I've got the Y2K problem fixed."

One Day The President was out jogging without his guards.

All of a sudden a man with a ski mask jumped out from behind some bushes with a gun.

The masked man said "Give me all your money!"

Unwilling to do so, the President said, "You can't do this, I'm the President!" The man then replied,...

"Oh, never mind then. Give me MY money!"

Clinton was asked who was a better lover: Monica Lewinsky or Paula Jones.

His response: Paula was good, but no cigar.