Political Jokes — worst jokes

During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question:

"Will I be acquitted?"

What's Clinton's favorite baseball team?
→ The Dodgers.

How can you tell when Clinton is ready for battle [in Bosnia]?
→ He's got his jogging suit on.

What does Clinton do to lose weight?
→ Runs away from the draft.

What do Bill Clinton and a fifteen-watt light bulb have in common?
→ Neither one is very bright.

How can you tell when Bill Clinton is telling a lie by looking at his face?
→ If his lips are moving, then he's lying.

How can you tell when Bill Clinton is lying?
→ Only a Bill Clinton supporter is too dumb to know the answer to this one.

How did Bill and Hillary Clinton meet?
→ They were dating the same girl in high school.

Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch.
As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, "Are you ready to order?"
Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie."
"A quickie?!?" the waitress replies. "Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don't think that is a good idea.
I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu."
She walks away.
Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "It's pronounced Quiche."

What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did?
→ A dead girlfriend.