Police Jokes — worst jokes

- I think I hear burglars, dear. Are you awake?

- No!

- Judge: You claim you robbed the grocery store because you were starving. So why didn't you take the food instead of the cash out of the till?

- Burglar: Your Honour! I'm a proud man, sir, and I make it a rule to pay for everything I eat.

- Judge: Why did you steal that bird?

- Prisoner: For a lark, sir.

What did the burglar say to the watchmaker as he tied him up?
→ Sorry to take so much of your valuable time.

Why did the burglar take a shower?
→ He wanted to make a clean getaway

- Fred: We had a burglary last night, and they took everything except the soap and towels.

- Harry: The dirty crooks.

A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. "There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning."

"Who shall I call," her husband asked, "police or ambulance?"

A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and said, "This is a muck up!"

"Don't you mean a stick up?" asked the girl.

"No," said the robber, "it's a muckup. I've forgotten my gun."

"Dad," said Fred to his father, who was a bank robber. "I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow."

"OK, son," said his dad, "I'll get you the cash when the bank closes."

Why was the robber bionic?
→ He was holding up a bank.