Random joke from this category
An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up.
While the man is with the doctor, the doctor askes him, "So how has life been treating you?" The old man replies, "The Lord's been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when I'm finished, He turns the light off."
While the old woman is with the doctor, the doctor told her what her husband said. She replied, "Damn it! The old fart's been pissing in the ice box again!"
I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor if, after surgery, I would be able to play the banjo. He said, "I'm doing surgery on your hand, not giving you a lobotomy."
Why did the nurse go to art school?
→ To learn how to draw blood!
The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some good news and some bad news."
"Oh, no. Give me the good news, I guess," Dan replied.
"They're going to name a disease after you."
There are several different kinds of doctors, and it is told that they can be differentiated by the following method:
General Practitioners know nothing and do little.
Surgeons know little and do everything.
Internists know everything and do nothing.
Pathologists know everything and can do everything, but it's usually too late.
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" the frustrated student blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student without saying a word. "Physics saves lives," he finally continued, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation. "Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."
Why do witches have stiff joints?
→ They get broomatism!
What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites?
→ Don't bite any witches!
Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.
