Guest
Definition Of A Wife
Definition of a Wife:
(B)eautiful
(I)ntelligent
(T)alented
(C)harming
(H)omemaker
Marriage Jokes — worst jokes
- All
- Animal Jokes 3869
- April Fools Jokes 10
- At Work 856
- Aviation Jokes 339
- Bar Jokes 445
- Blonde Jokes 1226
- Business Jokes 842
- Camping Jokes 88
- Celebrities 657
- Christmas Jokes 343
- Clean Jokes 1299
- Comedian Jokes 85
- Computer Jokes 800
- Dirty Jokes 3278
- Doctor Jokes 989
- Drunks 538
- Dumb Jokes 1114
- Elderly Jokes 636
- Ethnic 982
- Farming Jokes 327
- Festival Jokes 300
- Food Jokes 1052
- Gender Jokes 298
- Golf Jokes 164
- Instrument Jokes 274
- Irish Jokes 242
- Kids Jokes 2024
- Language Jokes 1361
- Lawyer Jokes 565
- Marriage Jokes 1855
- Medicine 1113
- Men Jokes 959
- Military Jokes 384
- Mom/Dad Jokes 674
- Ouch 850
- Police Jokes 668
- Political Jokes 751
- Practical Jokes 33
- Red Indian Jokes 66
- Redneck Jokes 248
- Relationships 775
- Religion 1283
- School 906
- Science 461
- Sex Jokes 935
- Situations 1812
- Sport Jokes 602
- Stats/Math Jokes 214
- Travel Jokes 715
- War 134
- Women Jokes 1241
- Yo Mama Jokes 333
Random joke from this category
Parrot With No Legs
This guy is setting at a bar, and he's had a lot to drink that night; he asks the bartender for another drink, but the bartender says no. The guy is pretty upset by this and persists, but the bartender keeps saying no. Finally the guy asks:
- Well isn't there anything that you can give me?
The bartender says:
- I've got this parrot over there in the corner, sitting on a perch, with no legs.
The guy interested by this asks how the parrot stays on the perch with no legs. The bartender tells the guy that the parrot just raps his dick around the perch. The guy is amazed by this and agrees to take the bird home. On the trip home he asks the parrot if he can talk. The parrot says:
- Sure I can talk!
The guy thinks for a second and then says:
- I've got a job for you. I have to go to work tomorrow and my wife will be home alone all day long. I want you to watch her and tell me everything that happens while I'm gone. The only person other than my wife scheduled to be there is the milk man.
The parrot agrees to watch the man's wife. The next morning the guy leaves for work, leaving only his wife and the parrot at home. Later that evening the man returns home and asks the parrot what his wife did all day.
- Parrot: Within an hour after you left the milk man appeared. Your wife walked to the door, dressed in her bathrobe and let him in. Right away they started kissing!
- Man: Then what happened after that?
- Parrot: They started taking each other's clothes off.
- Man: And then what? (getting more angry)
- Parrot: Your wife started jacking him off!
- Man: What next? (really steamed by this time)
- Parrot: She started giving him a blow job!
- Man: And what then, did they do anything else?
- Parrot: I don't know by that time I got a hard on, and fell off my perch!
Super Orgasm
How can a woman tell if she is having a super orgasm?
→ Her husband wakes up.
Marriage Ups And Downs
Marriage for women has its ups and downs. How?
→ The toilet seat is up and the hubby's sex interest is down.
Guest
Polak Catches Wife
This Polak came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting:
- honey I am home!
What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife.
Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it to his head. His wife started laughing.
- Don't laugh! - he screams.
- You're next!
Guest
Polish Wedding
How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
→ He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.
Guest
Four Children
Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?
→ They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.
Married Three Times
A woman had been married three times and was still a virgin.
Somebody asked her how that could be possible.
- Well - she said.
- The first time I married an octogenarian and he died before we could consummate the marriage.
- The second time I married a naval officer and war broke out on our wedding day.
- The third time I married a Microsoft Windows programmer and he just sat on the edge of the bed and kept telling me how good it was going to be.
Three Choices
A guy tells his wife that she has three choices. She can either go hunting with him, give him a blowjob, or he can butt fuck her.
The wive says:
- I don't want to go hunting because its cold out, and I've never been butt fucked before, so I think I'll go with the blowjob.
So she's down there doing her thing and suddenly she says:
- your dick tastes like shit!
The guy says:
- yeah, the dog didn't want to go hunting either.
The Tent Pole Note
Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner and looked for his wife, but she had awakened and was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Joe was afraid he might spoil things by getting up, so he called his little boy and sent this note to his wife:
THE TENT POLE IS UP,
THE CANVAS IS SPREAD.
THE HELL WITH BREAKFAST,
COME BACK TO BED.
The wife answered the note and sent it back by the boy.
It read:
TAKE THE TENT POLE DOWN,
PUT THE CANVAS AWAY.
THE MONKEY HAD A HEMORRHAGE,
NO CIRCUS TODAY.
So he sent another note down. It read:
THE TENT POLE'S STILL UP,
AND THE CANVAS STILL SPREAD.
SO DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING,
AND COME GIVE ME SOME HEAD.
To which she replied:
I'M SURE THAT YOUR POLE'S
THE BEST IN THE LAND.
BUT I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW,
SO DO IT BY HAND!!