Kids Jokes — worst jokes

What gas do snails prefer?
→ Shell.

How do snails get their shells all shiny?
→ They use snail polish.

What do you do when two snails have a fight?
→ Leave them to slug it out.

What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off?
→ I'll get you next slime!

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
→ How slime flies!

What's black and white, stinks and hangs from a line?
→ A drip dry skunk.

A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?"

So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned.

"I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts."

And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."

What is the best advice to give a worm?
→ Sleep late.

How do you weigh a whale?
→ On Whale Weigh Scales.

Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere?
→ Yak the Ripper