Random joke from this category
Young Vestal was walking in his Florida backyard when an alligator bit him.
- Mama! - yelled the boy.
- A gator jus' bit off mah foot!
- Which one? - called his mother from inside the cabin.
- How the hell should Ah know?! - he shrieked.
- They all look alike to me!
- I had a funny dream last night, Mom.
- Did you?
- I dreamed I was awake, but when I woke up I found I was asleep.
A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. "Hey kid," he shouted. "Why don't you go outside and play?"
- Fred: Where does the new kid come from?
- Harry: Alaska.
- Fred: Don't bother - I'll ask her myself.
- Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test?
- Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class.
- Boy: Grandma, do you know how to croak.
- Grandma: No, I don't think so. Why?
- Boy: Because Daddy says he'll be a rich man when you do.
"What were you before you came to school, boys and girls?" asked the teacher, hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out, "Happy!"
Why was the mother flea feeling down in the dumps?
→ Because she thought her children were all going to the dogs.
Why was the lightning bug unhappy?
→ Because her children were not very bright.
Tyler was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom.
So, Tyler raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused.
Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Tyler to be quick.
Five minutes later Tyler returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed.
- I can't find it - he admitted.
The teacher sat Tyler down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Tyler looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on his way.
Well, five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher:
- I can't find it.
Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at the school for a while, to help him find the bathroom.
So, Tommy and Tyler go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats.
The teacher asks Tommy:
- Well, did you find it?
Tommy is quick with his reply:
- Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards.
