Instrument Jokes — worst jokes

How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison?
→ Shoot one.

What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
→ Root position cords.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
→ A flat minor.

What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
→ A mouse organ !

General Heath, a famous lover of parade music and marching drill ceremonies, once listened to a symphonic orchestra playing.
When asked about his impressions, he commented:
"No military precision in drill..."
"Why?"
"Did you see those violin players? They were moving their bows not in cadence."

How do you get a heavy metal guitarist to stop playing guitar?
→ Put sheet music in front of him.

Why did bill quit playing the saxophone?
→ To play his WhoreMonica

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
→ A flat minor!

Why does Clinton play the saxophone?
→ 'Cause he can no longer play with his 'hore-monica!

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• How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
• I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
• I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
• I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
• I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
• I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
• I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
• If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
• My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
• Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
• She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart