Doctor Jokes — worst jokes

- Doctor, Doctor, I keep seeing an insect spinning around.

- Don't worry, it's just a bug that's going around!

- Doctor, Doctor, I'm a burglar!

- Have you taken anything for it?

- Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a racehorse.

- Take one of these every 4 laps!

- Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots?

- I never make rash promises!

- Doctor, how can I cure my sleep walking?

- Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!

- Doctor, Doctor, you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don't feel well.

- That's quite enough out of you!

- Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm God.

- When did this start?

- Well, first I created the sun, then the earth.

Fireman rescued a man who was badly injured in a car accident. The entire left half of his body was torn off. He was taken to the hospital and examined. The doctors said he was all right. The nurses said there wasn't much left.

How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ None - They just have a nursing assistant do it.

How can you tell who is the head nurse of a facility?
→ She's the one with dirty knees.