Dirty Jokes — worst jokes

What did Marv Albert do after NBC gave him the pink slip?
→ He put it on.

What's the difference between Madonna and the Panama Canal?
→ Well, you see, the Panama canal is a busy ditch...

David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like to show him a trick. "I will", replies a guy in the audience, "but I'm going to need your wife Claudia and a table." "Ok", says David and the guy gets on stage.

He then bends Claudia over the table, pulls down her knickers and starts fucking her from behind. David is now very pissed off and says, "That isn't a trick!!!"

The guy just looks at David Copperfield and replies, "I know, it's fucking magic."

Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best... find a woman with whom he may "commiserate". After a wild night of getting it on, it's time for the young lady to leave. As she's getting dressed, she and Mike are having a conversation. She says, "Lotsa guys want to know how it was. Well, I have good news and bad news for you. Which would you like first?" Mike thinks for a moment and says, "What the hell, give me the good news." She tells him, "The good news is that you're bigger than Magic Johnson."

What did Michael Jackson say when his cock slid in the little boys arse?
→ There is a great musician in you.

What's got 400 legs and no pubic hair?
→ The front row of a Hanson concert

Two blondes are passing by a fruit shop when the grocer calls to them, "Bananas! 50 cents each or three for a dollar!"

The girls stop and look at each other. "Well I suppose we could always eat the third one!"

What's the difference between a blonde and a light bulb?
→ Well, the light bulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.

What's the difference between a blonde and a shower?
→ The shower has to be turned on before it gets wet.

A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something she hasn't done before, so she goes out to rent her first X-rated adult video.

She goes to the video store, and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR.

To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.

"I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape but static," she says.

"Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?" the clerk replies.

"Head Cleaner," Mary replies.