Dirty Jokes — worst jokes

Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of mountains?
→ So they push back harder.

One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says "Big Chief, no shit". the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chief should be fine tomorrow.

The warrior went back to the chief and gave him the pill. the next morning the warrior was sent back to the witch doctor and says "big chief, no shit". the doctor gives him five pills and tells him to give them to the chief.

The next day the warrior appears at the witch doctor's house yet again saying "big chief, no shit". the doctor gets annoyed and so gives the warrior the whole bottle of pills to give to the chief.

The next day the warrior goes back to the witch doctor (AGAIN): "Big shit, no chief".

How do a jewish couple have oral sex?
→ SET AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE BED AND YELL SCREW YOU TO ONE AND OTHER

Two Amish women were out picking potatoes in the field when one of them picked up two huge potatoes and said "These potatoes remind me of Emil's balls"

"Are they that big?" asked the other.

"No they're this dirty."

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
→ Kick his sister in the jaw.

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
→ Mace.

Why do Southern guys go to family reunions?
→ To meet chicks.

How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry?
→ Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough. If it isn't, cut the barrel down a bit.

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man.

So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report:

Most honorable sir:

You leave house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she get on train. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree-look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. Fall out of tree, not see. No Fee.

An old italian couple is walking around in the mall. After a while they get separated so the woman goes up to the first saleswoman she sees and ask: "Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" The saleswoman answers that she hasn't seen her husband.

So the Italian woman goes to aks another saleswoman: "Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" "No, I'm sorry maam, I haven't seen your husband."

The Italian woman goes to see one more saleswoman and ask: "Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" The saleswoman answers: "Yes I saw him, he ran out of here lickety split."

To which the Italian woman answers: "No no no, that's not-a my tony, he pinch-a the bum, grab-a the breasts but he no lickety split!"