Random joke from this category
Two Polish guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding... "I'm not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not."
His buddy replies, "Oh, there's an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says 'Those are the funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!"
A young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kilt.
"Reach up there and find out."
She did, but quickly pulled her hand back out and said, "Oh, it's gruesome!"
"Aye, it has," replied the Scotsman, "and if you put your hand back up there, it'll grow some more!"
A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to.
He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said, "I'm moving here from the city, what do you guys do around here?"
The men answered, "Go hunt'n, kill things, 'n screw".
He then asked, "What do you hunt and kill?"
The men replied, "Sumt'n ta screw."
Did you hear about the Irishman who went to the toilet?
→ He wiped the chain and pulled himself.
What's the one thing you can do to a Jewish girl's asshole to make her squeal with delight?
→ Give him a raise.
What's long and hard that a Greek bride gets on her wedding night?
→ A new last name.
This black guy is walking along a beach when he looks down and sees an antique lamp. Thinking that he'll get enough money for another vial of crack, he takes the bottle home and starts to clean it. He starts rubbing the lamp, when all of a sudden a Jewish genie appears, and being a Jewish genie, he say's to the nigger that he have two wishes. The black guy thinks for a couple of seconds, and quickly says: "I want to be white and surrounded by cunt."
In an instant he is turned into a tampon.
Now the morale of this story is: Don't ever expect anything from a Jew without strings attached.
Paddy Murphy had just returned to Ireland from a holiday in Australia.
His mate asked him what it was like.
"Australia's a great place!" Paddy replied. "First they take you home and fill you so full of piss you can't stand up. Then, to top it off, they let you fuck their women whenever you want."
"Is that right?" said his mate very impressed. "I always heard Australians were real pricks."
"Well," said Paddy, "Only the white ones!"
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotchman sitting on a beach notice a mermaid sitting on a rock. The Englishman approaches her and says 'Have you ever been kissed?' No says the Mermaid. He kisses her and she likes it. After a while the Scotchman approaches her and says 'Have you ever been fondled?'. She says no and he fondles her, much to her delight. After another while the irishman approaches her and asks 'Have you ever been fucked?' She says no. 'Well you are fucked now because the tide's gone out.'
A girl sat sobbing in the police station. "I was raped by an Italian," she wailed.
"How do you know it was an Italian?" the detective asked.
"I had to help him," the girl replied.
