Dirty Jokes — worst jokes

How do you know you're leading a sad life?
→ When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."

Confucious say: "Man who goes to sleep with sex on mind wakes up with solution in hand."

A man takes his 10 year old daughter to the doctor.

He says:

- Doctor, I want to put her on the pill.

The Doctor says:

- Why?!? Is she sexually active?

The guy says:

- Nah, she just lies there like her mother.

One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married.

He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with no experience.

On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each other's bodies.

Things are going fine until the bride discovers her husband's penis. "Oh my", she says, "What is that?"

"Well, darlin", the cowboy says, "That's ma rope".

She slides her hands further down and gasps.

"Oh my goodness. What's them?" she asks.

"Honey, them's my knots", he answers.

Finally, the couple begin to make love. After several minutes, the bride says, "Stop honey. Wait a minute".

Her husband, panting a little, asks, "What's the matter honey? Am I hurting you?"

"No", the bride replies. "Just undo them damn knots. I need more rope!"

There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son's room and says "Son do you remember that session I arranged for you with mademoiselle Ginette ?" "Oh yes papa, I remember very well" says the son. "Well son it is time you knew that the birds and the bees do the same thing"

A guy approaches a prostitute on the street and asks her, "how much?" she replies, "$100 if I lay down and $75 if I stand up." He asks what the difference is, and she tells him, "it's my hairdresser's fee!"

Did you hear about the new course you can take at school?
→ Yes, Intercourse....you go between periods and you are expected to come.

Mother: What seems to be the problem with you? You have been married three years and still no children. I had hopes of being a grandmother by now.

Daughter: I just don't know, Mom! Billy tries all the time, it's just that I have a lot of trouble swallowing.

- Boy: Those clothes are very becoming on you!

- Girl: Why thank you!

- Boy: Of course, if I was on you...

I would becoming too!

How do you know when you have a serious overbite?
→ When beaver starts tasting like shit.