Dirty Jokes — worst jokes

Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
→ When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks.

One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small.

Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

"How long will this take?" she asks.

"They'll grow gradually larger over a period of some years," he replies.

The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow?" she asks.

The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your ass, didn't it?"

(.)(.) tiny tits
(o) (o) regular tits
( O )( O ) big tits
( @ ) ( @ ) big harry tits
( ' ) ( ' ) perky tits
{.} {.} shriveled tits
( , ) ( , ) drippy tits
[ _ ] [ _ ] android tits
( # ) ( # ) Tysoned tits

A new medical study has shown that a woman's breast-feeding isn't adversely affected by aerobics. It was found, however, to be pretty distracting to guys in the class.

A little boy walks up to his father and says, "Dad, what does a pussy look like?"

Father responds, "Well son, before or after sex?"
Son, "Well, before?"
Father, "Picture a tulip with all the petals son."
Son, "Well what about after?"
Father, "Picture a bull dog eating mayonnaise!"

A woman walks into a hardware store and says:

- I want to buy a hinge.

The clerk says:

- Do you wanna screw for that hinge?

The woman says:

- No, but I'll blow you for the toaster.

Yeah, fat broads are like mopeds. They're fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to see you on one.

How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party?
→ The cake jumps out of the girl.

You know why there's a string on a tampon?
→ So the crabs can bungee jump.

Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her.

"To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation."

"I don't think I can afford that," said Sally. "Could you just replace the batteries?"