Christmas Jokes — worst jokes

Democrats wear wide red ties and green sports jackets during the festive season.
Republicans do too, all year round.

Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful Life."
Right-Wing Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "Die Hard."

Republicans spends hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays.
Democrats save their time and money, and drive around at night to look at other people's lights.

Why doesn't Santa hitch his sleigh to a pig?
→ Pigs don't have red noses.

Why can't there be a Santa Pig?
→ Pigs don't fit in chimneys.

Did you hear of the pig who began hiding garbage in November?
→ She wanted to do her Christmas slopping early.

What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas?
→ Nothing. But he promised he'd make it up to them on the next one.

What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time?
→ Cross mouse cards!

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles."
"She did," he replied. "But where in the hell was I gonna find a fake Jeep?"

What does the bee Santa Claus say?
→ Ho hum hum!