Celebrities — worst jokes

How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb?
→ He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard.

How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a light bulb?
→ One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a Windows box crashed...
Oh, wait a minute, he already does.

- Fan: I've always admired you. Are your teeth your own?

- Actor: Whose do you think they are?

How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done, everyone says that his last light bulb was much better.

A movie producer is lying by the pool at the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of excitement.
"How'd the meeting go?" asks the first guy.

"It went great," says his buddy. "Tarentino will write and direct for six million, Mel Gibson will star for eight, and we can bring in the whole picture for under fifty million."

"Fabulous," says the guy by the pool.

"There's just one catch," his partner warns.

"What's the catch?"

"We have to put up ten thousand in cash".

What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address?
→ Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.