An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. "But I think I know where I'm going wrong," said the idiot. "I think I am planting them too deep."
There were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole -- he would dig, dig, dig.
The other would come behind him and fill the hole -- fill, fill, fill.
These two men worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling it up again.
A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn't believe how hard these men were working, but couldn't understand what they were doing.
Finally he had to ask them.
He said to the hole digger:
- I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!
The hole digger replied:
- Oh yeah, must look funny, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today.
One idiot said to the other, "You know, there are really only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't."
What is the biggest ant in the world?
→ An elephant!
What lives in gum trees?
→ Stick insects!
What has four wheels and flies?
→ A rubbish bin!
What kind of suit does a bee wear to work?
→ A buzzness suit!
What do you call a bee who's had a spell put on him?
→ He's bee-witched!
What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear?
→ Shot it!
Why does the town idiot take his bedroom door off the hinges and put it to the sid every night when he goes to sleep?
→ Because he's afraid someone would look through the keyhole.
