Worst jokes

One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver's side door with him standing right there. "NOOO!" he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same. Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling, "MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!!!" he exclaimed.

"You're a lawyer aren't you?" asked the policeman. "Yes, I am, but what does this have to do with my car?!?!" the lawyer asked.

"HA! You lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing did you?" the cop said. The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed, "MY ROLEX!"

A man and his alligator walk into a bar and the man asks, "Does this bar serve lawyers?"

"Of course we do," replied the bartender.

"Great," said the man, "I'd like a beer... and give me a lawyer for my gator."

What are the four worst words you could hear during a round of golf?
→ It's still your turn!

Did you hear about the local country club that was determined to be politically correct?

Instead of saying the golfers have handicaps, they say they're stroke-challenged!

A girl from Oklahoma and a girl from Wisconsin were seated side by side on a plane.

The girl from Oklahoma, being friendly and all said, "So, where y'all from?" The Wisconsin girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from Oklahoma sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "So, where y'all from, bitch?"

You're so stupid that when police tell you that you broke the speed limit, you offer to fix it.

Yo family is so poor that when I went inside your house I accidentally stepped on a roach and your whole family came out singing, "Clap your hands, stomp your feet, thank the Lord that we got meat!"

- Knock, knock!

- Who's there?

- George Washington!

- George Washington who?

- George Washington who? Didn't you learn anything in history class?

Your dad's like cement, it takes him two days to get hard!

Your family is so poor, when I went to your house I stepped on a cigarette and your Daddy shouted, "Hey, who turned off the heater!"