Worst jokes

How do men sort their laundry?
→ "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".

How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
→ In real life, men aren't affectionate in bed.

What's a man's idea of foreplay?
→ A half-hour of begging.

One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism.

Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband.

- A penny for your thoughts - she said.

- It's amazing! - he replied.

- I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $46.50.

A guy says:

- I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women.

- Yeah what happened? - asked the other.

The first guy replies:

- Well, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle.

There was three guys, one with a rubber dick, one with a wooden dick, and one with a nine foot dick.

The guy with the rubber dick couldn't have sex because it wasn't hard.

The guy with the wooden dick couldn't have sex because the other person would get splinters. Finally, the third guy with a nine foot dick says:

- See that girl over there? Bam. Got her.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
→ No one knows. Its never happened.

How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
→ Three. One to hold the pan and two to show off and shake the stove.

Why do men like blonde jokes??
→ Because they can understand them.

Why can't a man eat like a bird?
→ Have you ever tried to pick up food with your pecker?