An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat.
- My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?
- Yes - said the Navy brat.
- My dad has built them.
Then the naval kid spoke:
- And do you know the Dead Sea?
- Yes.
- It's my dad who's killed it!
Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.
In a heroic dogfight, fought over international waters off the mainland China coast, a 60s era American-built Lockheed Electra propeller airliner with 24 US Navy passengers/observers aboard chewed up one of China's best state-of-the-art supersonic fighter aircraft. The Americans utilizing the infrequently seen combat tactic of straight and level flight, often accomplished by relying solely on auto pilot, engaged the unfortunate single seat combat jet and knocked it out of the air using only one of its four formidable rotating air mass propeller weapons system.
After the action, the crew and passengers/observers dropped in on China's Hainan Island Resort for some much-deserved R&R as guests of the Chinese government. Reprinted from the Taiwan Daily Gazette
DURING a readiness exercise, my friend Jim and I, Air Force security policemen, were guarding entry to a bunker-like structure where aircrafts were kept.
When a pilot about to do a preflight check approached without his identification in plain view, Jim asked him for it.
- I don't see why I have to show you my ID - the pilot snapped.
- After all, it is my plane.
- Sir, with all due respect, it may be your plane - replied Jim.
- but it's sitting in my garage!
The following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company.
THE U.S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain's saloon, a large living room/office where the vessel's business and entertaining would take place.
Someone suggested that a set of nautical prints would lend a nice touch. He knew of a shop in London that specialized in such things, and the prints were ordered and hung in the saloon.
It was not until the trial run of the vessel, when both the builder's and the owner's representatives were aboard, that someone looked closely at the prints. Each was of an American ship being captured by, or surrendering to, a British warship during the War of 1812.
Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.
Top Ten Things The Chinese Have Learned By Examining Our Spy Plane
Top Holiday Traditions In The Military
The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed of working since a young boy.
He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Submarine School. The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said:
- Listen, 'sir', it's real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the number of times we surface. Divide that number by two. If the result doesn't come out even, don't open the hatch.
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.
- What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?
- Throw out an anchor, sir - the student replied.
- What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?
- Throw out another anchor, sir.
- And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then? - asked the captain.
- Throw out another anchor, sir.
- Hold on - said the captain.
- Where are you getting all those anchors from?
- From the same place you're getting your storms, sir.
A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far behind.
The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was a buzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read:
- My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules. Make sure the Captain is aboard before getting under way!
