Worst jokes

What are the only two kinds of men?
→ Studs and duds.

What do men have difficulty retaining?
a) a job
b) a budget
c) a promise
d) a secret
e) a friendship
f) a marriage
g) an anniversary date
h) a 30-minute erection
i) all of the above

How do some men avoid making a wrong career move?
→ They never get a job!

Why do a married man and his single male friend envy each other?
→ Each one thinks the other is having sex more often.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
→ Any place without a drive-up window.

Why do so few men end up in heaven?
→ They never stop to ask for directions.

The men who do make it to Heaven are going to have a rude awakening up there when they find out two things: God is a woman...and she nailed down all of Heaven's toilet seats!

If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
→ Shoot the lawyer twice.

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
→ Cut the rope.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
→ The bucket.