Worst jokes

Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
→ The more you bang it the looser it gets!

An American has sex with a Soviet emigre woman. The next day his prick turns black. He runs to a doctor and asks:

- Doctor, is this some weird venereal disease?

- Worse - says the doctor.

- It's frostbite!

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained:

- I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.

- Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole! - she screamed.

- That's funny - he muttered.

- you even sound exactly like her too!

Ten Recruits had just arrived at the training camp and were lined up for inspection.

- Hey johnson! - yelled the drill instructor.

- those are the ugliest shoes i've ever seen!

- Yes, sir - the young man answered.

- Those shoes are really really ugly, right? - hollered the D.I again.

- Yes, sir!

- And that hair- dont they have barbershops where you came from?

- Yes, sir - answered the recruit.

- So why didnt you get a haircut?

- I was saving up for shoes, sir!

Rules To Live By...

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I cannot accept, And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

This man is waiting for his wife to deliver his first child. When the doctor comes out of the operating room, he comes up to him and asks to see his wife and baby.

- I have something to tell you... Your baby has got no legs...

- Oh... I guess it's still my son. Let me see it.

- He's got no arms either...

- That bad, uh? I have to see it!

- And he's got no trunk either... No head... Actually, it's only an ear...

- ... He's still my son, take me to him now.

Then they go in a sterile room where a nurse carries in a cradle with a huge ear in it.

- My son!!! Flesh of my flesh!!! Blood of my blood!!!

- Louder...he's deaf too!!!