Cow With No Legs
What do you call a cow with no legs?
→ GROUND BEEF!
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Guest
Clinton And A Carpenter
What's the simiarity between Clinton and a carpenter?
→ One screw in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls apart!
Guest
African Lion
What's the difference between an african lion and OJ Simpson?
→ An african lion is an african lion, OJ Simpson is a lyin african!
Guest
Pull Lever
A road crew is making a giant freeway, when they come across a sign and a lever. The sign reads:
- pull lever and end world.
The workers decide not to pull the lever just in case.
One night, a man named Nate is driving home. He is very drunk and is just about to hit the lever when he flies off of the road and explodes.
The headlines in the newspaper the next day all read...:
- better Nate than Lever!
Guest
Cyclones
Why do they name cyclones after women?
→ Because they start off as little blow jobs and end up taking the whole house!
Guest
Four Words
Four words guaranted to destroy a man's ego: "Is it in yet?"
Guest
The Magician's Finish
A famous magician had a thundering finish to his act. He would fill a large bowl with shit and proceed to slurp it noisily, to the amazement of his audience.
One night he had just begun the wow finish of his act when he stopped in his tracks.
- Go ahead - said the stage manager:
- Eat the shit, eat the shit!
- I just can't do it - said the magician:
- There's a hair in it!
Guest
Eggs In New York
If you went to New York City for vacation and found eggs everywhere, what would the city's new name be?
→ New Yolk City!
Guest
The Motor Home
My brother-in-law goes into a restaurant, buys a coffee and sits down to drink it. He looks on the side of his cup and finds a peel off prize. He pulls off the tab and yells:
- I WON! I WON! I WON a motor home; I WON a motor home!
The waitress runs over and says:
- That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a mini van!
My brother-in-law replies:
- No. I WON A motor home, I WON a motor home!
By this time the manager makes his way over to the table and says:
- You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we don't have that as a prize!
Once again, my brother in-law says:
- No, no mistake, I WON a motor home, I WON a motor home!
The manager grabs the prize ticket and reads:
- WIN A BAGEL.
Guest
Jackson And A Grocery Bag
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
→ One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with... The other is used to carry groceries.