Police Jokes — most viewed jokes

What will the Easter Bunny be doing after Easter?
→ One to three for breaking and entering.

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in.

"I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."

The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. "I'm a cop," says the first man. "Then we will shoot your penis off!" said the sheik.

He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen," said the second man. "Then we will burn your penis off!" said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?" And the third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"

- Policeman: How can you say you don't have any outstanding tickets?

- Driver: They're all in the glove compartment.

When Mike got arrested, they told him, "Anything you say will be held against you."

Mike said, "Claudia Schiffer's breasts."

How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?
→ Studying their Miranda Rights.

Did you hear about the rookie Rhode Island cop who gave out twenty-two parking tickets before he found out he was at a drive-in movie?

Warning to shoplifters: Anyone caught shoplifting will be beaten, gagged, whipped and tortured. Any survivors will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

- Policeman: Did you realize you just missed that bus with your car?

- Motorist: Did you want me to hit it?

A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone.

"I was only going 40!" the driver protested.

"Not according to my radar," the trooper said.

"Yes, I was!" the man shouted back.

"No you weren't!" the trooper said.

With that, the man's wife leaned toward the window and said, "Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when he's been drinking."

- Policeman: Why were you speeding?

- Driver: I didn't want to be late for my trial.