Random joke from this category
Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money", he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "Hey, watch it - I'm a United States Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."
- Policeman: Why were you speeding?
- Motorist: I was trying to get away from the crime scene.
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting please to come out and give himself up.
- Policeman: Why didn't you obey that stop sign?
- Driver: I don't believe everything I read.
Big Ron was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today.
"I'll do anything for 3 points", he said when questioned.
What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater?
→ A plain clothes police dog!
Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail?
→ Because it needs bailing out.
- Fred: We had a burglary last night, and they took everything except the soap and towels.
- Harry: The dirty crooks.
A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
And the minister says, "Just water."
The sheriff says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, "Good Lord, He's done it again!"
What language do the Vatican Police speak?
→ Pig Latin!
