Women Jokes — worst jokes

God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before you create a masterpiece.

Man says to God, "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says, "So you would love her."

"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God replies, "So she would love you."

Once heard from a girl who just broke up with someone: My old boyfriend and I weren't compatible. I'm a virgo and he's an asshole!

A man finds a lamp and decides to rub the dust off. Then, you guessed it, a Genie appears. The Genie tells the man he will grant him three wishes, but everything the man gets, his mother-in-law gets twice.

The man's first wish is for 10 million dollars. The Genie reminds the man that his mother-in-law will get 20 million dollars.

The man says, "that's ok."

The man's next wish is for a house by the sea.

Once again, the Genie reminds the man that his mother-in-law will get two houses by the sea; once again, the man says, "that's okay."

The man's last wish is to be beaten half to death!

- Real estate man: Would you like to see a model home?

- Man: I sure would, when does she get off work?

Women have their faults. Men have only two. Everything they say and everything they do.

A man can actually cater to a woman's every need, so long as all that she wants is to have sex, go to ball games, and bring him a beer.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?

Ever notice how so many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender?

MENstruation, MENopause, MENtal breakdown, GUYnecology, HIMmorrhoids...

If you can't go down on them, you're not a good partner.

If you can go down on them, they are jeolous that someone taught you how.

If they pay for dinner, you are using them.

If you pay for dinner, you are trying to embarrass them.

If you make less money than them, you have to do all of the housework.

If you make more money than them, you are a ball-breaker and still have to do all of the housework.

If they want sex, they won't let you sleep.

If you want sex, they won't wake up.

If you choose an article of clothing that they don't like, you don't care about their taste. If you ask them for help in choosing an article of clothing they do like, they tell you to dress however you want.

If you are polite and friendly to their friends, they want to know why you are coming on to their friends.

If you are distant and reserved to their friends, they want to know why you don't like their friends.