Situations — worst jokes

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend."

But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said, "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"

Two blind man at a cinema:

- Can you see something?

- No.

- Then let's go in front!

What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison?
→ One can't see to go, the other can't go to sea.

How did a blind man drive his car?
→ One hand on the wheel; the other on the road.

The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.

'Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am,' he said politely, 'but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread!'

'That's right.'

'Every day you wallop him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were hitting him with a chocolate cake....?'

'Well, today is his birthday!'

- Were any famous men born on your birthday?

- No, only little babies.

- I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party for you.

- A 'surprised' birthday party? What's that?

- That's where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I'll be surprised!

- I guess I didn't get my birthday wish.

- How do you know?

- You're still here!

"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

- Will you come to my party on Saturday?

- Yes, please. What's the address?

- 25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow.

- Why with my elbow?

- Well, you won't be empty-handed, will you!