Sex Jokes — worst jokes

A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. She said, "Depends on what's in it for me."

"Would you sleep with me for ten thousand dollars?" asked John.

"Yes, I will." Paula replied.

"Would you do it for one thousand?" he asked.

"Well maybe, or maybe I'd do something else for you." she answered with a wink.

"How about a blowjob for $20?" responded John.

"Hey! What kind of women do you think I am?" Paula snapped, indignantly.

"That's already been established, Paula. Now we're just haggling over the price!"

Woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, "Come this way," and heads towards the back of the store.

"If I could come that way," she tells the retreating clerk, "I wouldn't need the batteries."

The seven kinds of passionate women

1. The Optimist - "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
2. The Pessimist - "No! No! No!"
3. The Confused - "Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! Yes! No! No!"
4. The Asthmatic - written rendition of gasping
5. The Sprinter - "Faster! Agh! Faster! Faster!"
6. The Religious - "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!"
7. The Mathematician - "More! More! More! More!"

What do you call a truckload of vibrators?
→ Toys for Twats.

A woman walks into a hardware store and says "I want to buy a hinge."

The clerk says "Do you wanna screw for that hinge?"

The woman says, "No, but I'll blow you for the toaster."

"Do you have any batteries?" a woman asks the hardware store clerk.

"Yes, m'am." The clerk gestures with his finger. "Can you come this way?"

"If I could come that way," the woman says, "I wouldn't need the batteries."

This male prostitute contracted leprosy.

He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off.

This male prostitute contracted syphilis.

He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off.

Definition of bad lover:
An earthquake occurs during sex. Afterwards he asks the woman if she felt the earth move. She says no.