School — worst jokes

- Counselor: How many times did I tell you to make your bed?

- Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!

Did you hear about the witch who did a four year course in ugliness?
→ She finished it in two.

- May: What position does your brother play in the school football team?

- Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks!

- Mother Banana: Why didn't you go to school today?

- Little Banana: Because I didn't peel well.

- Teacher: What is Ba + Na2?

- Pupil: Banana.

A student was heading home for the holidays.
When she got to the airline counter, she presented her ticket to New York. As she gave the agent her luggage, she made the remark, "I'd like you to send my green suitcase to Hawaii, and my red suitcase to London."

The confused agent said, "I'm sorry, we can't do that."

"Really??? I am so relieved to hear you say that because that's exactly what you did to my luggage last year!"

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?
→ He brought it to school and said, 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

Two girls were having their packed lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, 'Watch out for worms won't you!'
The first one replied, 'why should I? They can watch out for themselves.'

School lunches are not generally popular with those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.
"What kind of pie do you call this?" asked one schoolboy indignantly.
"What's it taste of?" asked the cook.
"Glue!"
"Then it's apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap."

What kind of ants are very learned?
→ Pedants!