School — most commented jokes

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.

- Tim, you be first, - she said. - What does your mother do all day?

Tim stood up and proudly said:

- She's a doctor.

- That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said:

- My father is a mailman.

- Thank you, Amie, - said the teacher. - What about your father, Billy?

Billy proudly stood up and announced:

- My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

Billy's father said:

- I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?

A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle. The first nerd was stunned and asked:

- Where did you get such a nice bike?

The second nerd replied:

- Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said:

- Take what you want!

The second nerd nodded approvingly and said:

- Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit.

Fred's class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York.

- Did you enjoy yourself? - asked her mother when she got home.

- Oh, yes - replied Fred - But it was funny going to a dead zoo.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was in school she sat next to everybody!

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote:

- Woman, without her man, is nothing.

The women wrote:

- Woman: Without her, man is nothing.

- Who was the first woman on earth?

- I don't know, Sir.

- Come on, Fred, it has something to do with an apple.

- Granny Smith?

What's the favorite subject of young witches at school?
→ Spelling.

Why was the student witch so bad at essays?
→ Because she couldn't spell properly.

What happened to the naughty little witch at school?
→ She was ex-spelled.

What happens when the fog lifts in California?
→ UCLA.