School — worst jokes

- Teacher: If I had ten flies on my desk, and I swatted one, how many flies would be left?

- Girl: One - the dead one!

"Dad," said Fred to his father, who was a bank robber. "I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow."

"OK, son," said his dad, "I'll get you the cash when the bank closes."

When the school was broken into, the thieves took absolutely everything - desks, books, blackboards, everything apart from the soap in the lavatories and all the towels.
The police are looking for a pair of dirty criminals.

What do you call a cowboy who helps out in a school?
→ The deputy head!

What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
→ Grass class!

- Teacher: Name five things that contain milk.

- Pupil: Butter, cheese, ice cream ... and two cows!

How did the calf's final exam turn out?
→ Grade A!

A son is calling his mom from college, and telling her that he had just got his degree. The mother says:

- That's great honey! What kind of degree?

And the son, almost squealing with excitement, says:

- The best one ever, a Celsius degree!

College meals are generally unpopular with those who have to eat them - and sometimes with good reason. "What kind of pie do you call this?" asked one student indignantly.

- What's it taste like? asked the cook.

- Glue!

- Then it's apple pie - the plum pie tastes like soap.

"Now my motto in life," said the school chaplain, "is work hard, play hard and pray hard. How about you, Harriet?"

- My motto is let bygones be bygones.

- That's good. Why did you choose that?

- Then I wouldn't have to take any history classes!