School — worst jokes

- Teacher: Name six wild animals.

- Pupil: Four elephants and two lions!

- Teacher: To which family does the elephant belong?

- Pupil: I don't know, nobody I know owns one!

Why do elephants do well in school?
→ Because they have a lot of grey matter!

- Bill: My homework is really difficult tonight, I've to write an essay on an elephant.

- Bert: Well, for a start your going to need a big ladder..

What do you call an elephant that can't do sums?
→ Dumbo!

What's the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil?
→ One rarely bites and the other barely writes!

- Teacher: You've been e-mailing other pupils that I'm ugly!

- Pupil: Sorry, miss, I didn't realise you wanted to keep it a secret.

- Pupil: Sir, would you mind e-mailing my exam results to my parents?

- Teacher: But your parents don't have a computer.

- Pupil: Exactly!

What did the dog do with the history professor?
→ They got together and talked over old times.

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior," but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue, and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"