Religion — worst jokes

Two Irishmen were digging a ditch directly across from a brothel.

Suddenly, they saw a rabbi walk up to the front door, glance around and duck inside. "Ah, will you look at that?" One ditch digger said.

"What's our world comin' to when men of th' cloth are visitin' such places?"

A short time later, a Protestant minister walked up to the door and quietly slipped inside. "Do you believe that?" The workman exclaimed.

"Why, 'tis no wonder th' young people today are so confused, what with the example clergymen set for them."

After an hour went by, the men watched as a Catholic priest quickly entered the whore house. "Ah, what a pity," the digger said, leaning on his shovel. "One of th' poor lasses must be ill."

Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a headcovering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without your wearing a blouse." "But Father, I have a divine right," she informs.

"Yes, I see. And your left one isn't bad either, but you still must wear a blouse to enter this church!" he insists.

Did you hear about the dyslectic agnostic with insomnia?
→ He used to lay awake at night wondering if there really was a dog.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
→ It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

What was the First Commandment?
→ "Adam, eat my pussy."

What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest?
→ A rabbi cuts it off, and a priest sucks it off.

A young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole out during confession, asks an older priest what he should give a cocksucker.

"Oh," says the older priest, "give the altar boy a dollar or so, if you feel like it. Personally, I never give them more than fifty cents."

A crowd had gathered around a whore and they were about to stone her.

Jesus stepped in front of her and said: "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone."

From the back of the crowd came this stone which hit Jesus on the head and knocked him down. Jesus turned and looked in that direction and said: "You know mom, sometimes you really piss me off."

What do you call a nun riding piggyback on the hunchback of Notre Dame?
→ Virgin on the ridiculous.

What do you give the paedophile who has everything?
→ Another parish