Random joke from this category
Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner,
"Hey, Roy, you wanna take a chance on a raffle?"
"Whada ya win?"
"A million dollars!" said the redneck. "You get a dollar a year for a million years."
"How much are they each?"
"Ten cents. Two for a quarter. Or three for half a dollar!"
During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first battle.
The Sergeant said, "How'd you learn to shoot like that? Have you ever been in combat before?"
"Well suh," drawled the boy, "To be honest, this is my first public war."
How do you know when you're at a hillbilly wedding?
→ Everyone is sitting on the same side of the church.
Jim sees his neighbor out back building a bunker, loading in 75 gallons of bottled water, hauling in a gas generator and so on. "So, uh, I guess you believe Y2K is a biggie huh?"
"Naw", says the neighbor. "Ah's jes' stockin' the bunker now, 'cuz if I did it any other time, people'd think ah's nuts."
During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle.
"Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said.
"What fer?" asked Pyle.
"Shorter hours."
"Good fer them!" said the redneck. "Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"
Kennen was having a drink in a saloon when his neighbor, Stakely, came rushing in.
"Ah think somebody's stealin' yore pickup truck!" the man said breathlessly.
Kennan ran outside, but came back right away.
"Well, did yew stop him?" asked Stakely.
"Naw!" said the redneck. "He was too fast. But Ah got his license plate before he got away!"
The July temperature in Joplin climbed over the one hundred mark. Despite the scorching heat, Bozell was outside painting his house. A passerby stopped for a moment to watch him and then asked, "How cum yer wearin' two jackets?"
"'Cause," said the redneck, "the directions on the can say ta put on two coats!"
Melburn was strolling along downtown Natchez with a framed picture under his arm. "Hey, what yew got there?" asked a neighbor. "I dunno much 'bout art," replied Melburn, "but Ah just bought me an original Michelangelo for two hundred dollars! It's one of the few he ever did in ballpoint!"
- Why do rednecks act like such morons?
- Who says they're acting?
Did you hear about the hillbilly who asked his friends to give him their burnt-out light bulbs. He wanted to start a dark room.
