Random joke from this category
A redhead, a brunette and a blonde all escape from a prison together. They run into the nearby woods and all climb up seperate trees. When the police find the redheads tree and ask who is up there, the redhead chirps like a bird. Then the police go to the brunette's tree. When they ask who is up there, the brunette makes chipmunk noises. Finally, when the police go to the blonde's tree and ask who is up there, the blonde goes, "MOOOOOOOOOO!"
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.
A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
"Why, officer?" asks the blonde.
"Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed."
"Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"
Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
→ She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?
→ A stole.
What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?
→ Jail-birds!
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty.
He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say:
"Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened.
Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot:
"Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes", said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: "What's your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"
The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus."
The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down.
- Geez, are you lucky.
- What do you mean by lucky? I got hurt really bad.
- Ah, you're lucky because I recently lost my license. I usually drive a bus.
Why did the robber take a bath?
→ So he could make a clean getaway.
What criminal doesn't take baths?
→ A dirty crook.
Why did the bank robber take a bath?
→ So he could make a clean getaway.
