Police Jokes — worst jokes

Why did the belt go to jail?
→ Because he held up a pair of pants!

Did you hear about the man in the electric chair who asked the executioner to reverse the charges?

How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.

At the scene of a bank raid the police officer came running up to his inspector and said, "He got away, sir!"

The inspector was furious. "But I told you to put a man on all the exits!" he roared. "How could he have got away?"
"He left by one of the entrances, sir!"

A gang of witches broke into a blood bank last night and stole a thousand pints of blood.
Police are still hunting for the clots.

What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus?
→ The police made him bring it back again.

A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy's photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him.
"Yes, please" she replied. "Tell him Mother didn't come after all."

St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up.

"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?"

"I was a policeman," he responded.

"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.

"I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids."

"Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates."

A few moments later a second man walks up.

"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?"

"I was a policeman," he responded.

"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.

"I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers."

"Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise."

A few moments later a third man walks up.

"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?"

"I was a policeman," he responded.

"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.

"I was a Military Policeman, Sir."

"Excellent my son, I have to leave for a bit, watch the gate will you?"

What do you call a policeman with blonde hair?
→ A fair cop!

Fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks: "Any luck?"

"Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday," he boasts.

"Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger.

"Nope."

"Well, meet the new game warden."

"Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?"

"Nope."

"Meet the biggest liar in the state!"