Military Jokes — worst jokes

Why did Rudolfo salute the box of Cornflakes in the supermarket?
→ Because the label said General Foods.

An army sergeant told Private Perkins to go to the end of the line. He did, but then returned.

"I thought I told you to go to the end of the line," barked the NCO.

"Why did you come back?"

"Because there's already somebody there!"

What do you call a guard with a hundred legs?
→ A sentrypede.

St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up.

"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?"

"I was a policeman," he responded.

"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.

"I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids."

"Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates."

A few moments later a second man walks up.

"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?"

"I was a policeman," he responded.

"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.

"I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers."

"Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise."

A few moments later a third man walks up.

"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?"

"I was a policeman," he responded.

"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.

"I was a Military Policeman, Sir."

"Excellent my son, I have to leave for a bit, watch the gate will you?"

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?
→ In his sleevies!

When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight?
→ When they had lots of sleepless knights!

Why did the Romans build straight roads?
→ So their soldiers didn't go around the bend!

Why did the Gorilla enlist in the ragged continental army?
→ To avoid the draft!

What did the sardine call the submarine?
→ A can of people!

What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?
→ A fish tank!