Men Jokes — worst jokes

What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?
→ Get married on his birthday.

How are husbands like lawn mowers?
→ They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don't work.

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

"Why?"

"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."

A man is incomplete until he is married.

After that, he's finished.

Losing a wife can be hard. In most cases, it is damned near impossible.

What letter should you avoid?
→ The letter A because it makes men mean.

What's te definition of a bachelor pad?
→ All the house plants are dead, but there's something growing in the refrigerator.

My brother's looking for a girlfriend. Trouble is, he can't find a girl who loves him as much as he loves himself.

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
→ Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."

Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man.

God got mad and said.
"You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from him!" Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line?

The man said, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."