Marriage Jokes — worst jokes

- First cannibal: My wife's a tough old bird.

- Second cannibal: You should have left her in the oven for another half an hour.

- First cannibal: I don't know what to make of my husband these days.

- Second cannibal: How about a curry?

What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?
→ The cold shoulder.

Two cannibals were having lunch.

- Your wife makes a great soup.

- Yes! But I'm going to miss her terribly.

Did you hear about the blonde that got pregnant for the second time?
→ She asked her husband if they needed to get married again.

What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
→ Married.

A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?"

"Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?"

"Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces."

"Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is."

"It's a big rooster," she said.

The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.

The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!"

A blonde was swimming. She swam deeper and deeper until she drowned. Her husband came home and found her dead in the bathtub.

A blonde tried to blow up her husband's car, but burned her lips on the tailpipe.