Language Jokes — worst jokes

Ever hear the expression "hard drinker"? Never made much sense to me, drinking's one of the easiest things in the world to do.

A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and asks the barman "Can I have a drink for me and one for the road?"

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Baby!

- Baby who?

- Baby love, my baby love....!

What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers?
→ Infantry!

What do you get if you cross a mountain and a baby?
→ A cry for Alp!

Dewey and Odell met on the Brownsville main street. "Say," said Dewey, "Ah hurd yew and yore wife is goin' ta night school ta take Spanish lessons. How cum?"
"Uh huh," answered Odell. "We went and adopted us a little Mexican baby, and we wanna be able ta understand him when he gets old enough ta talk!"

Who is bigger - Mrs Bigger or Mrs Bigger's baby?
→ Mrs Bigger's baby, because he's a little Bigger.

- It can't go on! It can't go on!

- What can't go on?

- This baby's vest - it's too small for me.

What is the difference between a banana and a bell?
→ You can only peel (peal) the banana once.

As the airliner was preparing to land in Madrid in a rainstorm, an English passenger seemed noticeably afraid.

"What's the problem, fellow?" asked his seat mate.

"Surely," said the Englishman, "you've heard the saying, 'The planes in Spain fall mainly in the rains!!'"