Language Jokes — worst jokes

What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?
→ You take me for grunted.

Did you hear about the farmer you ploughed his field with a steamroller?
→ He wanted to grow mash potatoes!

How did the aliens hurt the farmer?
→ They trod on his corn.

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"

The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

"How?" asks the man, puzzled.

"Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field."

What word begins with the letter "F" and ends in "UCK"?
→ FIRETRUCK.

A fireman had two sons. What did he name them?
→ Hosea and Hoseb

What does CHAOS stand for?
→ The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.

What kind of ears do pumpers have?
→ Engineers.

If - H 2 O - is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
→ K 9 P

What does CHAOS stand for?
→ The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.