Food Jokes — worst jokes

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward him. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.' The mother superior is first to open hers. Staring at it for a moment, she leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

How do you make a hot dog stand?
→ Steal its chair.

Did you hear that in New York State, the Stop And Shop grocery chain merged with the A & P?

Yup..now they call it the...

Stop & P.

What do you see when the pillsbary dough boy bends over?
→ Doughnuts

Did you hear that Betty Crocker passed away.

The funeral is set at 4:50 for ten to fifteen minutes.

A man eating at restaurant says to his waiter, 'waiter, there's a fly in my soup!' The waiter replies, 'That, sir, is entirely possible, you see our cook used to be a tailor.'

A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger.

The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"

The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"

Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.

The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!"

The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts!"

How do you cook vegatables in the microwave?
→ Take them out their wheelchair.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
→ Anyone can roast beef.