Farming Jokes — worst jokes

What did the farmer say when all his cows charged him at once?
→ I'm on the horns of a dilemma here!

Why are farmers cruel?
→ Because they pull corn by the ears.

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?
→ A dressmaker sews what she gathers, a farmer gathers what he sows.

How does a farmer send messages?
→ By e-i-e-i-o-mail.

Did you hear about the farmer who fed crayons to his chickens?
→ He wanted them to lay coloured eggs!

Camp Woodland was across the road from a dairy farm. One day the kids saw a large bull.
"Is that bull safe?" someone asked the farmer.
"Safer than you are!" was his answer.

- Camper: Is it easy to milk a cow?

- Farmer: Sure it is. Any jerk can do it.

Why was the farmer hopping mad?
→ Because someone had trodden on his corn!

Did you hear about the farmer's boy who hated the country? He went to the big city and got a job as a shoeshine boy and so the farmer made hay while the sun shone!

A farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields were grown over with weeds, the farmhouse was falling apart, and the fences were broken down. During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!"

A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Lo and behold, it's a completely different place. The farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.

"Amazing!" the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"

"Yes, reverend," says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"