Ethnic — worst jokes

What's the difference between American and Serbian pilots?
→ American pilots break ground and fly into the wind!

In America the late night news used to broadcast this message: "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your children are?"

In England they say "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your wife is?"
In France they say "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your husband is?"
In Poland they say "It's 11 o'clock do you know what time it is?"

Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy's father presents him with a new pistol.

On the other side of town, at his bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day at school, the two boys are showing each other what they got. They each liked what the other one got, so, they traded.

That night, when the Italian boy is at home, his father sees him looking at the watch. "Where did you getta thatta watch?" asks the man. The boy explains that he and Sammy had traded. The father blows his top. "Whatta you? Stupidda boy? Whatsa matta you!"

"Somma day, you maybe gonna getta married. Then maybe somma day you gonna comma home and finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then? Looka atta you watch and say, 'How longa you gonna be?'"

That Scottish couple finally worked out a solution to the eternal love triangle.

They ate the sheep.

What did the Jewish paedophile say to the little boy after luring him into his car?
→ Hey, go easy on those fucking sweets.

How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home?
→ They put parking meters on the roof!

A young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kilt.

"Reach up there and find out."

She did, but quickly pulled her hand back out and said, "Oh, it's gruesome!"

"Aye, it has," replied the Scotsman, "and if you put your hand back up there, it'll grow some more!"

A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist for an eating and sleeping disorder. "I am so obsessed with my mother... As soon as I go to sleep, I start dreaming, and everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up in such a state, all I can do is go downstairs and eat a piece of toast." The psychiatrist replies: "What, just one piece of toast, for a big boy like you?"

A boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. "What part?" the mother asked.

"I play a Jewish husband," the boy replied. "Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!"

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, "Hey, I got this great Polish Joke..." The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: "Before you go telling that joke you better know that I'm Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so are most of my customers" "Okay" says the customer, "I'll tell it very slowly."