Random joke from this category
Two Scotsmen met 25 years after their last get-together. They hugged and slapped each others back and tears formed in their eyes as they renewed their old friendship.
"Let's have a drink like we did in the old days," the first Scot winked at his mate.
"Aye," his mate replied. "And don't forget it's your shout."
A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder... the bartender looks up and says, "Where the hell did you get that thing?"
The Parrot replies, "Over in Africa, there's millions of them!!!"
Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake?
→ It did $100 million worth of improvements.
Did you hear about the new German microwave oven?
→ It seats 500.
Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
→ He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says, "Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"
What's the one thing you can do to a Jewish girl's asshole to make her squeal with delight?
→ Give him a raise.
What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
→ An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill you."
→ A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill myself."
How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas?
→ They all gather around their cash registers and sing "What a Friend We Have In Jesus..."
What's long and hard that a Greek bride gets on her wedding night?
→ A new last name.
An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Aussie, an Abo, a Yank, an African, an elephant, a refrigerator, two blondes, a homosexual, three social workers, a Jew, a crocodile and a kiwi all walked into a bar.
The bartender turned around and said, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
