Ethnic — worst jokes

Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
→ Lawrence of Poland

Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene?
→ Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest Service.

A Polak, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to get some help.

A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the white guy top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher noticed that the white guy was carrying a glass of water, so when he was within hearing distance, the rancher said, "Hi there...what are you doing carring a glass of water through the desert?"

The white guy explained his predicament and explained that since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that's why he was carrying the water.

A little while later the rancher noticed the black guy walking toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. "What are you doing?" asked the rancher again.

As before, the black guy explained the situation and said that since he had a long way to go, he might get hungry and that's why he had the bread.

Finally the Polak appeared, dragging a car door through the sand. More curious than ever, the rancher asked, "Hey, why are you dragging that car door?"

"Well," said the Polak, "I have a long way to go, so if it gets too hot, I'll roll down the window."

Did you hear about the tragedy in Poland? In Poland's largest shopping mall, there was a terrible power outage. People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours.

Did you hear about the Polish family that froze to death outside a theater?

They were waiting to see the movie "Closed for the Winter."

Two Polish truck drivers are barreling along when they come up to an overpass. A sign says, "Clearance: 11"2'." So they get out, measure their truck, and realize that it's 11"6'. So the first Polak looks at the second Polak and says, "I don't see any cops around....let's go for it!"

Polish Air Lines flight 113 was descending for a landing at an airport they had never been to before. The pilot looked out the windshield and suddenly exclaimed to the copilot, "Holy cow! Look how short the runway is! I`ve never seen one that short!"

The copilot looked out the windshield. "Wow! you`re right! That`s incredible! Are you sure we can make it?" "Well we better, we're almost out of fuel."

So the captain got on the intercom and notified the passengers to put their heads between their knees and prepare for an emergency landing. Then he set the flaps to full down and slowed the plane to just over stall speed. The big jumbo jet came screaming in, on the ragged edge of control. The pilot`s hands were sweating, the copilot was praying. They touched down and came screeching to a halt JUST before the edge of the runway, the tires smoking.

"WHEW! That was CLOSE!" yelled the captain.

"That runway was SHORT!"

"Yeah!" said the copilot, "and WIDE too!"

Heard about the Polish hockey team?

They all drowned in spring training.

Hear what the Poles did with all their gold medals?

Went home and got them bronzed.

A Polak was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositiories. A week later the Pole complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results.

"Have you been taking them regulary?" the doctor asked.

"What do you think I've been doing," the Pole said, "Shoving them up my ass?"