Ethnic — worst jokes

A man comes to an Italian doctor because of sore throat. The doctor tells him to pull down his pants and to swing his genitals in the window.

- What does this have to do with my throat?

- Nothing, I just hate the neighbors!

One Polish surgeon asks another: "How did that appendectomy go?"

"Appendectomy?" shrieks the other. "I though it was an autopsy!"

This German guy wanted to marry this Polish lady, but Poland had a law that you have to be Polish in order to marry someone that is Polish, so, in other words, he'd have to have 50% of his brain removed. So he goes to his doctor and says, "I've just got to marry this woman, I love her so much..."

So the doctor says, "Well, it's risky, but okay." So into the operating room they go for the brain removal procedure.

Later, when the German guy wakes up, the doctor comes in and says, "We are verrrryyyy sorry, but we accidentally removed 75% of your brain instead of 50%."

The guy looks up and says, "Mama Mia!"

What does the M.D. after a name of a Soviet emigre physician stand for?
→ Mentally deficient.

A woman goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I've got a bit of a problem. I'll have to take my clothes off to show you."

The doctor tells her to go behind the screen and disrobe.

She does so, and the doctor goes around to see her when she is ready. "Well, what is it?" he asks.

"It's a bit embarrassing," she replies. "These two green circles have appeared on the inside of my thighs."

The doctor examines her and finally admits he has no idea what the cause is.

Then he suddenly asks, "Have you been having an affair with a gypsy lately?"

The woman blushes and says, "Well, actually I have."

"That's the problem," the doctor says, "Tell him his earrings aren't made of gold!!!"

A Soviet emigre doctor gets a call from the Medicaid office. "You've been billing us for weekly house calls to Mr. Ivanov for the last six months. Haven't you noticed that Mr. Ivanov has passed away?"

"Sure I noticed! He was my favorite patient, I visit him at cemetery."

A Soviet emigre boy and girl come to a doctor's office and say: "Doctor, we would like to know if we are screwing properly. Will you watch us, please?"

The doctor, somewhat puzzled, agrees, they climb on his table, the boy gets on top of the girl, and they have sex. After observing them, the doctor says, "Yes, you're having sex properly. That will be forty dollars."

They come back the next day with the same request, but this time the boy enters the girl from the rear. They keep coming for four days in a row, using different positions every day.

On the fifth visit the doctor says, "Why do you keep on coming back? I told you you're having sex properly."

The boy explains, "The hotel room costs the same forty dollars, but this way we get reimbursed by Medicaid."

One Polish surgeon asks another: "How did the operation go?"

"The operation was a success, but the patient died!"

What happened to a Brighton Beach prostitute who had an appendectomy performed by a Soviet emigre surgeon?
→ He sewed up the wrong hole, so now she's making money on the side.

A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father's house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery.

As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl's feet.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Taste it," he replied, "If you like it, I'll give you a whole one!"