Ethnic — worst jokes

How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
→ He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.

What do you call an American with a lavatory on his head?
→ John.

An Irishman joined the American Air Force and was making his first parachute jump. The instructor said, "When you jump out of the plane, shout Geronimo and pull the ripcord."

When the Irishman woke up in hospital a few days later the first thing he said was, "What was the name of that Indian again?"

An American tourist was visiting a quaint country village, and got talking to a farmer in the local pub. "And have you lived here all your life, Sir?" asked the American.

"Not yet, m'dear," said the farmer wisely.

"Where's your pencil, Bud?" the teacher asked an American boy who had just come to school in Britain.

- I ain't got one, Sir.

- You're in England now, Bud. Not ain't, haven't. I haven't got a pencil. You haven't got a pencil. They haven't got a pencil.

- Gee! Pop said things were tough in this country, but I didn't know pencils were so hard to come by.

Did you hear about the Polak who married an Amish woman?
→ He drove her buggy.

Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him?
→ On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover".

Why do Polish hate Cauchy's dog? (hint on Cauchy-Riemann theorem)
→ Because it leaves residues at each Pole.

How do you take census in a Polish village?
→ Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two, and subtract one for the Jew who catches it.

How do you know you're flying over Poland?
→ Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.